My Head Hurts

I have had headaches all of last week into this week…I need a MRI scan or something.

Yesterday was my nightmare day..the train was backed up from 6th Avenue in Manhattan all the way back to round my way. I left earlier to get to a class I’m always late for then end up late by 40 minutes. I had to lead my group to discuss the direction we’re gonna go in for our paper due on Thursday, and people couldn’t/didn’t make it. I gotta redo this marketing plan for this artist.I got my marketing plan reviewed @ work…I was expecting worse…

We’ve been working on a shitload of stuff @ IMG…ill shit….i’ve just been on overdrive for the last week…feeling spaced the fuck out… last week was hectic with me having 3 days off school outta the week and having meetings like the whole week. I’m tired as fuck mentally and it feels like my brain is tightening up…literally…

Shoutouts to the boy ‘Mel..we was up in Strata for his b-day..dude was smacked!!!..politicked with some of his lady friends…people came out and showed the god love…that’s what it’s all about..that party was a lifesaver with the way shit’s been going.

I strongly dislike the bullshit right now. I’m running a company, interning @ DJ and going to school…in addition to handling my business around house. I’m tired. And frustrated. And averse to wasting/disrespect of my muthafuckin’ time.

The boy Mike Beasley with 16/6 off the bench…fuck what ya heard…my dude is gonna be a problem. Giants 4-0.

This VHI Hip-Hop Honors Show is FIRE.

Signing off.

Listening to "This Life Forever", Jay-z


Us Against The World....

VERY interesting topic in class came up yesterday in Profo's class. Basically, a scholar came to the conclusion that from her research and surveys, people tend to think Jamaicans have an "us against the world" mentality.

!!!!!

I DEFINITELY can agree,and I have seen examples of this in my family and own personal life. LMAO! With my family especially (my aunts on my dad side take the cake. we need to do a reality show.), shit is always over dramatized and blown outta proportion. It's hilarious because they tend to make themselves the center of attention even when the shit aint focused on them.

Personally, especially at this stage in my life, with certain things that have gone down/been going down, i feel the same way. It's psychologically warping, because you know you have friends and people to hold you down, but it's like one instance will make you more wary of who you put your trust in. ESPECIALLY with females. In that department, I've seen a lotta stuff that would WARP anybody...but what i'm learning is to treat the shit as relative and not the norm. People in general will protect their best interests at any cost so......

Maybe it's me being mentally worn out or moreso, going through a mental regression (lmao when they say that females mature faster than us, i REALLY dont think they were lying).... Sarcastic to the T (SERIOUSLY). Quick to state my opinion, right or wrong. Ig'nant when I wanna be (ask about me SMH). Maybe it's being in a cutthroat industry.The little kid who swore pops could do no wrong until he learned other wise. Forced to grow up too fast.Instead of doing something for someoneas a favor(barring people i can count on one hand), I'm more likely to propose an exchange....

Why do I get the feeling that I'm TOO good at burning bridges?

"Don't trust niggas no further than you could throw em"-Styles P.."Us against the world, we dont need him, right"-Hova. "Born alone, die alone, no crew to keep my crown or throne....I need a new nigga for this black cloud to follow."-Nas. "It's hard fuckin' with niggas you hope you could trust/You a fool if your main bitch is easy to fuck."-Nas The paranoid lyrics of some of the artists i listen to dont help either. I take it as entertainment of course (being in a industry built on image), but if anyone says something I feel is true, it is what it is.

That's why I value loyalty and friendship. I can shit on people just as easily and i'm extremely good @ deading people. I've had my trust violated horribly by someone close to me, and that was just a genesis of my process of screening out people to see if I could poly with them.

In particular, I think I've been immature regarding a certain situation that I've been going through. Time to grow up. Reciprocity and equality. this is a world of action/reaction.

Shout outs to my dude Chris. I know you're reading this. Any publicity is good publicity. (Inside joke)

So pardon the rantings of a madman and enjoy your day. Raining and I'm about to take my ass to Def Jam.

PS: Furthermore, if ya'll see any typos (and they've been nomerus (lol) in times past), please excuse them. I often write on the run and hate coming back to correct them.

PPS: Profo also raised a point of learning views and opinions contrary to your own. I'm gonna start doing that. I'd hate to live in a world where everyone agreed.

PPPS: Jeezy's CD was aight to me, but I get the feeling Paper Trail will be better. T.I. went in on some of the tracks i've heard so far.

Listening to: "The World Is Yours"-Nas

Perks

-So yesterday, Tag Records artist Q Da Kid came through to the office to introduce himself to us. Jermaine Dupri was also there. Dude was pretty decent.
-One thing I notice, LA Reid always has a power suit on. notes taken
-Why is ______ trying to go through my phone and asking if i love her? Going through my notebook and drawing heart shapes? :-O...PSYCHO ALERT!!!!
-They shitted on my marketing plan. I wanna know why

Listening to Gangstarr, "Who Got Gunz"

-Ya’ll niggas truly aint ready for this Dynasty Thing/ Ya’ll thinkin’ Blake Carrington, I’m thinkin’ more like Ming”-Hova and “You know you’re successful the minute they can’t stand ya”-Jadakiss…”The game’s at a standstill/So don’t worry about me takin’ your spot/ I’m tryin’ to fill a position ya’ll niggas can’t fill”-Jadakiss…Those lines sum up my mentality for the past week or so, especially after yesterday……

-“Until age 25, you’re judged by potential. After 25, you’re judged by results.”

-It’s 8 am at work and I’m tired as shit. I got 4.45 hours of sleep. I need to improve my sleeping habits. Stasia and I were in the office after our meeting till like 1 AM working on getting contacts for our email blasts. The meeting went EXTREMELY well. No further comment.

-Ashaunna Ayers, the VP of Marketing at Def Jam, had us write a marketing plan for three of their artists. I said “You know what? Fuck it…let’s cross brand my dude.” Thus, I proposed a partnership with LRG for said artist to model their fall/winter line in magazines. Also, I proposed that they throw a competition for the young female (targets as usual) demographic. The premise was that the winner of the competition would be able to go out with artist and win some merchandise

-Speaking of infectious beats (last entry), “A Millie” gets my nod for Most Played Beat this year. My favorite part of the original song is:“Don’t you hate a shy bitch/Yeah, I ate a shy bitch/She aint shy no more, she changed her name to MY bitch!!!!!”-Lil’ Wayne. LMAO. Dude is a character. Ne-yo (!!!!) , Hova, Fab, Kiss, Corey Gunz and Los killed it as well

-A LOTTA shit brewing regarding the company. I’ma leave it @ that. I prefer to be a man of action. We’re officially launching our website today. Thanks for the support thus far. I appreciate it.

-It’s funny how shit goes down. We’re at a restaurant and the manager is walking around doing the usual “Is everything fine...” routine. I mention that everything is cool, so dude introduced himself as the manager. Me, thinking how I do, introduced Stasia and I as owners of a nearby marketing company. We end up talking about how dude wants to revamp the restaurant’s image and all this jazz I wont get into on here. It’s gonna be a favor for a favor thing going on…Stasia was talkin’ her fly shit as usual: “What they know about going to a spot and the owner knows you!!!!”…Politics as Usual.

-Advertising Week is next week. Sign up for seminars time!!!!!!

-The more and more I do my thing with the company, the more I feel a divide from a lotta things. “Industry” politics and bullshit. People acting more important than they are. Making 28K and walking around acting like their shit don’t stink. Self-promotion with no basis, not even business cards. Friends not understanding that most of the things in my life are means to an end. Girls I used to talk to not understanding that I’ve stepped my game up. Girls I am talking to getting frustrated that I don’t work on their clock and that I put my grind over them AND let them know from jump what the situation is. Yet when I ask my usual “What’s the incentive for a dude to date you?”, I get blank stares. Family troubles. REALLY bad shit. My pops being MIA sometimes. My mom sometimes doubting me and not believing in me. Her expecting a lot from me as the eldest son. Jealously from friends. The vocal tones of their voices when I talk to them. Friends? Family as well!!!

What’s crazy is that we get a good overall vibe. Me, older women (my moms age, not “older women”) have always liked me for some reason, so when I mention the company they’re all ears. The fact that we’re young, Black and gifted doing something positive is bankable in itself. I get a lotta love on that basis. Stasia’s too talented to work for someone as part of the machine as “just” another worker. My biggest professional fear is being just another “minority” worker in some big “square” company who’s so fuckin’ out of touch with their consumer base and/or being the token Negro who’s so scared for his job security that he doesn’t wanna disagree with the big boys in the boardroom. Time to kick in the door!!!!!!!!!

-This thing of ours will remain in the family. “They” will eventually come to us to offer dollars, but the $ isn’t the most important thing. Owning a business and dedicating yourself to it is. Of course, compensation is needed, but that will come in due time. We’ve separated a lotta potential business partners that way. You can see who’s just as hungry and aggressive as we are, and who’s just in it for a paycheck. In last month’s Vibe, Hov said something that resonated strongly with us: “People weren’t there (Def Jam) to make history. They just wanted to get a check and cross off that project.” (paraphrased). I sometimes look @ some of these corporations on Madison Avenue with cynicism and arrogance. “They” don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.

That’s why we do what we do. The problem with a LOT of advertising to the black community is that there’s NO representation of any groups but the ebonics speaking, fried chicken eating, Kool Aid drinking, watermelon eating, baggy pants wearing crowd. THOROUGH MRI research would do a lotta these companies wonders. You’d be shocked at some marketing trends. Ex: When researching consumer trends for Hellman’s mayonnaise, readers of The Catholic Digest tended to be heavy consumers. Why? I reasoned that Catholics tend to eat fish a lot, especially around the time of Lent. And have you ever had tuna fish w/o mayo on it? The professor, said that I was correct. *pats self on the back*Shoot, we found that that 18-25 female crowd was avid fans of Adult Swim!!! Who woulda thought!!!!

Debate: Black Men and Interracial Dating and Images in Hip-Hop

So....in Profo's wonderful and delightful class, we talked today about Black/Latino relationships and gave both male and female positions.

My position was that we as black men arent as restricted as black women MAKE themselves. Face facts people, a black man with success (or on his way) will have more dating options. Successful Black men tend to be the crown jewel of women. For example, look @ athletes and entertainers. Women of all colors tend to desire sexual relations with them. Black women for some reason, as far as I've seen it, tend not to date outside the race as much as a black man might. It's really not out fault that women of all colors would tend to date us.

Then, two of the black young ladies express their disagreement with interracial dating, making a point that Black men tend to date outside the race when they've been "emasculated" by a black woman and/or psychological issues. Not exactly false. BUT: My point is this: Dont talk about loving everyone on some Bible/"I'm a Christian girl "stuff and then talk about disagreeing with the IR. I thought the Bible stressed love for all men? I have NO problem with interracial dating, as I do it and have done it. As far as I've seen it, a lotta the dislike Black women have for Black men interracially dating stems from them being cheated on by a first love/etc with a girl who wasnt Black in the first place. And it can be that i'm right in this case. I look @ it like this.

"If a white/Spanish/(insert race) girl has what i want in a mate, and a Black girl doesnt, why shouldnt i be denied the chance to date a female outside the race who has what i want?"

Then came up the question of misogyny in hip hop. Rap's primary consumers AND biggest complainers about misogyny are women. YET, "Lollipop" was being put on in class to show a point, and a good portion of the females in the class were going along with the song. When i raised the GOOD point of the video showing video vixens and objectifying women, the response was "The beat was nice...shut up Karsten..Lil Wayne can get away with saying 'bitch' and 'ho', but you cant, I expect more of you."

Get The Fuck Outta Here. Disrespect is disrespect. You mean to tell me that if Lil' Wayne came to you face and called you "bitch", "ho", etc, you wouldnt have a beef with it?..Jesus Christ...

Part of the reason why music is the way it is is because women are primary consumers. If EVERY woman who bought a Nelly album didnt buy it in the aftermath of the "Tip Drill" video/Spellman college, Nelly would lose a good portion of his sales. If women didnt like certain songs, they wouldnt buy CDs. They make that choice when they buy a Lil' Wayne CD over a Talib Kweli or Common CD. It's ok. That's their prefered artist. But dont get shocked when Lil' Wayne has the words "bitch" and "ho" scattred throughou his lyrics. By you buying that CD, you empower his music and his pockets. If i aint feeling Duke or his lyrics, i aint gonna buy his shit!!!!

You may not agree with my point, but at least i'm consistent. ...

Dont complain about the use of "bitch" and "ho" in rap music and then buy an album or act crazy in the club when the said artists song comes on. I remember being in 40/40 and it was an absolute madhouse when that song came on...I dont like his style, but i know a hit when i hear one. That's a hit.

Is consistency too much to require in people nowadays?

With that said, the song of the day is Eminem "The Way I Am"

Misc...

-"For whatever it's worth, god/hard work always beats talent if the talent dont work hard"-Jadakiss
-Bumping the Jadakiss "Audio Herion" mixtape...I always was a fan of 'Kiss, but i just wish he'd be more consistent...dude is a problem when he's spittin' beastly. He's on Rocafella/Def Jam...
-I hate to gripe about it, but Def Jam needs to return to being a hip hop label. it seems on Kanye and Ross are holding it down for them rap wise...i just wish it were like back in the day.
-This Cowboys-Eagles game is piff.
-Nadia's done. She told me she had a kid. Even MORE reason for her to get her shit right. Aint no time to stick around and play steppops
-This Marketing 3650 class is a RIOT. We learned MRI today in class so I'll be using that in some IMG marketing work
-P0p's b-day today. Mom's b-day was yesterday
-Damn Penny IIs came out. Add those to the list of kicks i want but cant afford at the present time
-a LONG week is ahead with 3 meetings set up....
-SOME pics from the other night...Event wasnt what we hoped it would be, but EVERY event we go to is a chance to network. Made some contacts and handed out a shitload of business cards


-

TIRED!!!

-Met Ty Ty from The Roc @ Roc The Mic Studios....in a VERY nondescript part of town...dude was cool
-Absolutely tired.
-Went to this Pristine Magazine launch party. It was ennnnnnnnnhhhhhh honestly. I networked like a muthafucka tho. Ran out of business cards but i feel like i got em to who mattered the most.
-i'm too lustful for my own good. SMH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-this one fellow....i didnt wanna be impolite...but this dude was just UP in my face. no regards for personal space AT ALL. I'm cool and consider myself approachable...not on some primadonna shit..but this dude was annoying the shit outta me and i didnt know how to tell him so........i introduced him to Stasia and Phil!!! Stasia was visibly annoyed LMAO...but i was talking to someone about marketing for their magazine, then my godsis comes in like "Oh some guy was talking to me, and i told him you could help him out."...i'm seeing dollar signs until dude tells me his life story, and i'm like "You're killing my high...dont bother me duuuuuuuuude!!!"....telling me that I remind him of a young Andre Harrell....some chick came @ me saying "You look familiar...I swear I've seen you somewhere before...what's your name"...
-It's part of the game...I will learn how to be diplomatic in those sorts of situations...for all my confidence and self assuredness, i'm still relatively young and i dont wanna burn any bridges. Esp since the industry is small as hell and peoples' networks intertwine like hell
-I like some of the pieces from Benjamin Bixby, Andre 3000s clothing line. some of the pieces are "far out", but Dre's NEVER been a conformist. I still remember the day i met him strolling dolo on 34th St wearing a army hat, button up and cargo pants. I could tell dude just wanted his privacy, and seeing the way the industry is, i dont blame him...i'd wear this shit just to wear it and not care what people say.




























-gonna miss the Giants game due to work...but I gotta make this paper.