I dunno if it's the lack of sleep finally catching up to me.
I feel vulnerable.
I'm usually calm and collected, but I just feel shattered inside. I feel like there's a lot of pressure on me. The company is what it is and that doesnt phase me. I just feel emotionally drained and tired inside.
I'm usually confident but I just feel lonely and defeated inside. Before you make fun of me being emo and before I go into this self pitying rant, feel me:
- I tend to overanalyze things. I'd be a great detective.
- I need to reinvent myself. Start playing ball again and hit the gym.
- I'm overdue for a vacation. Atlanta will be fun as will VA (if things go well).
Emotionally, I'm hollow. It's times like this I wish I had someone to understand me, but I KNOW I have issues which would be a turn off. I'm always been charismatic, yet lonely and misunderstood.
My godsis says I need a girlfriend....I cant really disagree...it'd be a nice effect to my life but I just need her to be more of an asset than a liability. I try my best not to get stressed out about things and remain level-headed, which in itself is a huge test of character. I'm out ALL time time at ungodly hours working. I rarely party anymore (As I type this, Jadakiss' album release party is being held @ Prime. The fan in me wanted to go but I got shit to handle).
I do this shit because I love it.
I just was thinking that maybe I'm overcompensating for my issues with some of these ventures and shit I get into. The need to succeed drives me. Let the victors triumph.
