Second Best....

The male ego is a funny mechanism.

No dude wants to be the second guy. Second place means first loser.

The inspiration from this blog post comes from something that's been around for ages. Chicks having a BF, but they keep other cats around for attention/side dick. Dudes do this too, where cats have a main chick (they're "committed" to) and have side pieces. My whole policy is that the game is to be played fair. If you're gonna play the field, don't commit and be honest about your intentions. It's amazing to me how well (some) females can take honesty (if at least intially till they make you feel bad for not having the same relationship goals as they do).

In my dating experience, I've been the "second guy", you know, the backup dude for a chick without me knowing. Soon as I got word of it, I'd dead the dynamic. . Now, a lotta dudes dont mind because they get ass/attention from a chick. Now, everyone's gonna be someone's "second" in some way shape or form. Chicks make it innocent like "He's just my friend" and dudes saying "Nah, that's the JO, you know I aint gonna leave my wife for no hoes"

I was talking with a chick and we were flirting and all that. I'm more "to the point" than that but I was "under the influence" (of what? don't even ask). Shorty was like "She's taken." I really had nothing more to say. I'm not the grimy type to fuck with a chick with a dude.
  • Dont gas up chicks with boyfriends. No "hanging out", no attention given. Strictly friends.
  • Take what a female says about her status at face value. That's just me being Bruce Wayne. Dudes get killed over that type of shit. Then again with the way certain cats act, I wouldnt wanna claim them either. I'ma do another entry on that, but it's like dudes are becoming feminine.....
  • The little things like the late night calls and all that

We're better than that. There's stellar single women out there who dont feel the need to validate their insecurities with male attention.

100K Luh The Kids!!!!

About to stop messing around and get involved in some community initiatives. My dude City just let me know about being on a panel for elementary school kids. All I heard was "panel" and "kids" and I was sold. I like interacting with the next generation. I'm also gonna talk to Stasia and the rest of the IMG gang about working with JANY to come in and talk to HS students about the entertainment industry.

I like working with kids. My second summer job was at St. Mark's Head Start here in Brooklyn where I helped watch a classroom of 18 little rugrats. Something about kids is extremely cool to me. The innocence and how their minds are like sponges. (I was as immature then as some of the kids were. That's our little secret LOL). I've always meant to volunteer at the local Boys and Girls Club, but never got around to it. No excuses. Something about untapped potential....I'm just realizing mine and putting it into reality

One of the reasons I want to work with kids is that growing up, I never had a mentor "per se" to really give me advice on a career path. I never liked that about my childhood. I wasnt a bad kid but I was extremely stubborn and insisted on doing things my own way. Going into college, one of the things I regret doing was not getting with a company like Inroads that provides guidance for gifted youth etc.

So...that's the next venture. Looks like fun. I look forward to it.

The Thorn On The Rose

*I was actually gonna make this a video blog but whatever.I actually am being the quintessential lame and bumping a song that continuously reminds me of her-"Best Thing" by Usher feat. Jay-z*

I'm stuck.

I'm the LAST person some of you all know know me personally might expect this from but I'm scared of rejection for once in my life. I've been rejected by females and usually could give a fuck because i could always find another one.(I recently stopped talking to a female I was dating and for the first time in a while I felt extremely disappointed. I didnt make plans for her but it was going well. There was a dealbreaker I dont compromise on and that was the reason I stopped talking to her. I re-learned never to fit a female into a plan, not that I had one for her. The disappointment comes from unrealized expectations. Take things how they come. I digress)

I've been undergoing a situation in the past week or so. It's more of an emotional one which isnt usually my forte..but here goes....

I'm in a position of vulnerability. This is why myself and relationships never mix-because there's always the possibility of being hurt and left out to dry. I like being in control of ALL aspects of my life. Nonchalance defines my relationship stance. I can imagine it being maddening for a female, but to them I say "Sweetheart, show me WHY i should care about you." I've dated around enough to see that there's certain types of females and that all the attempts people (male and female) attempt to make to be different and stand out just make them commonplace. I tend not to get too gung ho about anything because at a split second
  • shorty can/will get tired of you and will "need some time to take a break". For you uneducated fellows, those are classic code words for "Leave me alone and gimme my space while I play the field and get validation/dick/attention from someone else. I''ll then run back to you after I'm done/if he dumps me because if you're desperate enough, you'll take me back"
  • after seeing my parents' relationships after 25 years, anything can happen. Thanks Mom/Dad
  • there's always some lame fuck who is in her ear trying to hate on your relationship..Then again it's on your girl to define the extent of their relationship with you. Some guys legitimately do not know what a girl's relationship status is because 1.) they aint do research or 2.) the girl aint tell them (better check her dawg!!!).
  • you just get tired of people. Familiarity breeds contempt. I'm glad I'm spontaneous and that I work in the industry I do because there's always something "new" (everything's been done before) for me to get into. I dont mix business/relationships at all :-/

No one likes to be @ the whim of someone else. In my life, I've lost grip of the ideal that relationships should be 50/50. However, reality has taught me that someone in a relationship will like the other person more than the other person likes them. The way I'm built, I just keep it in the back of my head that anything/everything can go wrong at any time. I dont look forward to it, but I keep it in mind that it has possibility of going down. Thus it's hard for me to fully trust/commit a female. I'm an extremely dynamic personality. I'm spontaneous and I hate when relationships get into that stale period where you're comfortable sitting on the couch scratching your nuts and she's just plopped down next to you farting and picking her nose. Knowing me, I'd do some shit for the fuck of it.

I just happen to miss the company of a female I was dating for the period of 8 months or so. It was actually unexpected how we got together as a mutual friend hooked us up. Now in retrospect, the Bruce Wayne part of me thinks this was a grand scheme to sorta "mature" me as the mutual friend sorta knew how I was about my dating practices and the types of girls that i was used to dating. You know how females are. Scouting out dudes and shit before they date em. Shit might not work out and you two are good friends, but something happens and she gives you advice making you "suitable" for the next girl. My thing is, I've never had a female "change" me till then. It was an exercise in patience, where I was "fast" and mutual benefit, instead of my usual egocentric POV.

She wasnt perfect at all. Neither was I....far from it. I had my well documented issues. She had hers. The key point being that they didn't outweigh mine LOL. It was therapeutic being with her. I'd go on my infamous rants and she's stand/sit there with her caramel skin absorbing the worst of my verbiage. Her responses were always steady and patient. I would go on...blacking out about how unfair the world is and how I'm too good for all the bullshit that I was going through at whatever particular moment. I remember just blacking out one time and she just gave me "this look" that sorta just mellowed me out. She knew what to say at the right time and I really appreciate that quality in a woman, especially with my dispositions sometimes.

You ever date someone and it's that "pre-relationship" stage? Where you both are extremely attracted to each other, she sees your flaws and you see hers, but it doesnt matter? Where no matter what you have a calmness in your inner being? I experienced that and would do a lot to get that feeling back (i originally typed "damn near anything" then I realized I wouldnt go THAT far LOL!). You know...someone to keep your grounded. The Mary to your Meth...the Foxy to your Jay...the yin to your yang. It's especially intriguing to me because I'm never the desperate type. I'm extremely independent and have shown a capacity to drop a female at the drop of a dime. I dont really give a fuck.

The only thing I hate more than relationships getting stale is the pre-"pre" period is the Waiting Game. You know, where you're getting to know someone. You go to kick it and ya'll dunno whether to count it as a date or ya'll hanging out or just going out as friends. It's EXTREMELY necessary, as no one is gonna logically date someone for an extended period of time without at least having a 50% idea of what they're about from
  • "scouting" them. They say college is the last bastion of you having a good shot @ finding a mate as it's a place of consistent face/face communication. I dont date people where I work and I dont go to church so I can see why people would say that.
  • word of mouth. Especially females....a female has already heard about you before you've even met her. Especially in NYC, where there's like 2-3 degrees of separation. (I think this is why I tend to be introverted. I dont like people in my goddamn business). Them salons man......
  • Them being a friend

My thing is that....I tend to look at relationships like I look at business. I can only be with people whose assets outweigh their liabilities. In the year that we've gone out separate ways, I've "dated" (it's an interesting term, isn't LOL) about 5-6 females, one of which I've only really felt comfortable with...and not even wholly because she wanted things (ie relationships) I didnt want too soon. Sweet girl. Just too ahead of her time for me, not to mention I didnt know her ass like that LOL. Trial and error. I move fast, maybe too fast. The reason I'll say the # is relatively high for that short time period is that:
  • I'm extremely ruthless. People arent perfect and I dont expect them to be, but when I sense an ulterior motive (I have a "vibe" that goes off. I swear to God this only happens to me.) I'm gone. #s/Facebook/Twitters deleted. Me > them if there's some "ulterior motive" involved
  • When a female says "just friends" (and no FWB indication verbally/nonverbally), I lose interest and subconsciously find reasons not to have anything to do with her. Bad habit. Extremely bad.
  • No emotional attachment. I usually look at things from a logical "pros/cons" POV. I let em know from jump that trust is earned.
  • If there's no incentive for me to get with a girl (not even just sex), I'm out
  • I'm bored extremely easily. Sue me!!! I like a challenge. Just not too much of a challenge. From a distance, I think a lotta females think I get EVERYone I want. I don't.

A quality of mine that I have to work on is breaking up in a friendly way. Usually, I delete contact with my exes for the fuck of it, with no closure and explanation on my part. I SUCK @ friendly breakups. There's the "dispute" (I dont argue with females, as it's a automatic loss) then me being nonchalant and/or sarcastic enough or saying something for them to hate me for 3 months. It's like I like seeing people leave me just to see how they'll do. There's a small part of me that also likes seeing my exes in worse shape than I left them in. *shakes head and looks down in disappointment*

I dunno what her relationship deal is. I always assume there's a guy somewhere in the background and that's saved me a lotta BS in the past. Experience is the best teacher. I think there is, but fuck it. If a chick doesnt claim a dude as her man, it's all fair game.

I guess the next step would be to tell her and be prepared for anything. Or will I let summer fun and the liberty of having options overrule my desire for something solid?

Time for bullshitting myself has ended.

Eric Sosa-"Nonbeliever" (Remix)

Well...among the current crop of MCs making their rounds in NYC , I have had the pleasure of meeting an artist by the name of Eric Sosa as well as his manager Danielle Thornton. He hails from QU and I could just go on and one but I'll let you all Google him.

Well, today Danielle blessed me with the "Nonbeliever" (Remix) so here it is! Enjoy!

Also, E will be performing at the Festival of The Arts Fair so here's the flyer!


I had an interesting convo with my man Poe Picasso last night. I usually have this convo with people on the business side of things but it was cool to hear it from an artist. We were talking about how small the world is and that it's like all of us are doing our thing and are only separated by one or two degrees. I was just telling son that majors aint the way to go right now for urban artists. The convo then turned into how oversaturated the game is with trash rappers and how only a handful of rappers have "it".

I always talk about wanting to find artists who have "it". Ya'll know what I'm talking about. It's an unspoken feeling. It's just you listen to an artist and you're like "WOW!!!". All the greats have it. It's usually something you cant put your finger on. Something different and not generic. If you look @ basketball, MJ, Bron and Kobe have "it"

In times like this, an artist just comes along and fills the void perfectly. I personally feel that post BP3, there will be a huge void in hip hop after Jay leaves. Think back to the history.
  • LL: Someone young people could relate to, namely the female gender
  • Wu Tang: Grimy alternative to the ATCQ type hip hop .
  • Nas: Rakim was the last pure lyricist of that caliber
  • B.I.G.: No artist with that amount of raw talent (the man wrote songs like "Story To Tell, Niggas Bleed, Kick In The Door and Victory...IN HIS HEAD) ,charisma, and verbal skills all rolled into one
  • Jay-z: Took B.I.G.'s spot after his death and reigned for quite a while. The first (near) billionaire rapper
  • DMX: A voice to all the true grimy, shiesty robbing street cats
  • Eminem: raw demented lyricism.
It's coincidental but I'm listening to "It's Dark and Hell Is Hot" right now (on a Sunday morning nonetheless). I remember the way X took the game by storm. This is when Def Jam was still running things. From "4,3,2,1" to "Money, Power, Respect" to "Murdergram", you just knew this cat was gonna be a problem. "It"

The most recent example would be Drake. I didnt even know it was Jimmy from Degrassi. when I saw the cover to "Comeback Season", my initial reaction was like "LOL @ this kid". I heard the mixtape and I was like "WOW". Understandably there's a bidding war and rightfully so. "It"

Who's next?