...............

I visited my son Ant's mom today....his kids were there...

I broke down.....his son looks JUST like him...his son was pointing to a picture of him and was like "Daddy"...that right there totally fucked me up inside...

Two beautiful kids aint gonna see their dad anymore...My son Ant knew too many ppl and there's mad rumors that I wont get into on here...I just feel defeated and crushed inside...I havent felt like this since my parents separated.....I just lost it..

Me and the crew were supposed to go to Six Flags on Saturday but Ima sit that one out. There's a Black Buttahfly party tomorrow night but I'ma just play the crib. I need to be around some positive energy/beautiful people. Ever since "The Debacle", I feel psychologically scarred and drained of my usual energy. I hate dwelling on stuff but this is just crushing.

I've been needing to go out and just relax but I cant bring myself to.

RIP once again. See you on the other side

R.I.P. Anthony Esperanza

Got news Monday night that my son Spanish Ant got killed. It sounded like a hit to me because it was raining all day. Streets is talking but the cops got the dude who allegedly did it....he's lucky they got him. Shot my dude in the back. Pussy. My son died @ Kings County and left behind two kids....

Been a hard past few weeks for me. I was just getting over the debacle two weeks ago. That psychologically scarred me more than I care to admit lol....then i got the news.

I cant believe it. We used to holla @ girls, pop wheelies on bikes, play ball on a cutout milk crate...slapbox and all that shit......now he's gone. Punk bitch killed my son.

RIP my dude.