R.I.P. Grandma

Got word last night that my Grandma went to the other side. Her lungs were having complications. R.I.P. Lucille Venna. My pops was going to to Jamaica to see her now he's down there making arrangements to bury her....

I'm not really that overwhelmed with a particular emotion. I held tears back...I sorta saw it coming from a mile away. I was in Times Square by my friend's job after work shooting the breeze before I was gonna out with a friend to see the Lakers/Knicks game....then i get a text from my bro...I just went home..trying to keep my composure on the train and shit...My pops was devastated...My mom's thinking about going to the funeral...I dont wanna go.

I hate being reminded of my own mortality.

I've been fine (uncannily) and I havent been too bugged out. I'm about 30% from cracking and breaking down. It's only a matter of time. I've been intentionally delaying the grief.