*This entry was inspired by a phone call I got the other day from a girl I dated a WHILE back asking me a ton of FBI ish questions about my life and then some. The timing of it all is TOO coincidental so....Thanks for the inspiration!*
This blog will address the phenomenon of "cuffin season".
Ive seen some of my friends, both male and female, go into a frenzy around this time of year trying to find someone to snuggle up with for the winter. They usually have "done them"/were looking to "do them" in the summer, and once it gets a little windy, they suddenly feel the need to "settle down". Like they cant even put on a hoodie before looking for someone to shack down with. The logic makes sense:
- You dont wanna be running around to see your jumpoffs. (if that's what you're into, that's what you're into #imjustsayin...). The convenience of one person is just that. Convenient.
- There's nothing like being under covers with "that person". Even better if they have heat and it's dumb cold outside.Nevermind.......
- There is a time and place for everything when you think about it. So why not?
- Familiarity and those long talks on the phone during the snowstorms when ya'll aint going anywhere while you're drinking hot chocolate with marshmellows in them....
However, make sure you settle down off your own recognizance, not just because you see that you're lonely and you need some "winter company". Not only will you drop your standards, but you wont even be happy with the person you're with, especially if they dont fit the description of what you're looking for. Hence my point a while back about not having a "dream girl" and just taking things how they come. It's saved me a lotta headaches and gotten me out of suspect situations.
Now, dont get me wrong. If both parties are upfront about it and keep it 100, so be it. But if you're a girl talking about you're in a relationship and you STILL up in dudes faces, or vice versa, it's a bad representation. If you cant trust you to shut someone down when you're with someone, why should they even bother to "claim" you as their S/O? Ya'll might as well establish that you're gonna be seeing other people. That way everyone wins and it's honest and there's no bullshit involved.
For anyone who knows me, I'm probably one of the most upfront people ever. I dont believe in wasting people's time because I dont like my time wasted.
This cat I follow on Twitter raised a major point:
"FEMALES ON TWITTER: if you got a man, better act right. Niggas really mad out here. Fakin like u single. #DuetAssBitch
In a relationship on Facebook for your bougie friends. Wholetime smuttin and twerking on Twitter. Yall better stop."
LOL.I personally have seen mad chicks on Twitter talk about they're in a relationship, but then continually flirt with their male followers for attention. Their man finds out and then it's Armaggeddon. Twitter does have "that" undertone to it though now that I think about it.
You cant "cuff" people like this; their issues are bigger than you at the current moment. (Special shoutouts to females who only know how to relate to dudes on a sexual level and think that flaunting/blatantly flirting their bodies is the best way to get a guy to relate to them. We relate to them alright......). Gotta know where your and their head is at before you make an investment in them. And yes, relationships and getting to know someone is an investment/business. You spend time, money and if it goes well emotions into another person.
"Before the lovebirds get moved to the suburbs, I gotta double check your story" (O_0)
Social networking (esp Twitter) is sorta like High School in the respect that if you have the same social circle as your SO/JO/GF, it's guaranteed someone will be in your business. PDAs belong where they belong. Relationships aside, I personally dont think it's practical to put your life online. Im not one for all that attention. Dont like people in my shit. I use a lot of the internet for business, leisure, etc but people only need to know so much. Besides, when you put your whole life online, you look extremely corny. No one really cares about your pastrami sandwich or your pipe dreams or where you live (That Ubertwitter can show locations is a muthafucka). It just looks REALLY lame. Even having a blog, I have learned to be discrete about certain stuff I post up. Much less, talking about my sex life online which I think is extremely dumb. Guess I'm just a private person....*shrugs*
Anyway, I'm the first one to advocate doing something just for the hell of it. However with relationships or "situations", you gotta be a bit more strategic. Know what you're getting into. Cue convo:
Me: I heard about you....
Her:None of my other friends know you, so I have nothing to worry about....
Me: (O_o)...*sideye*
People will always play their cards if you learn their decks. "The best way to see someone is not to look at them"(c) Jay-z......
Fellas, take it from me, you gotta be more discrete in who you lay up with, ESPECIALLY if you have something going on for yourself. Sure, we're all young and allowed to be shallow at one point or another in your life, but still.........
Im speaking all of this from experience, so it aint like I aint make a mistake here and there. I just learn from them. Dont be thirsty. Things will be as they are going to be.
8 comments:
Aaaaahhhh Karsten this was so on point!! I'm a private person as well so I never understood how people put very personal things on fb and stuff. Shit, I'm still fighting twitter!!
LOL Twitter is the devil. all the Myspace fuckry went straight there and it's totally unfiltered...I've seen soft and hard core porn on there lmao
Well well Mr K.. i mean i feel you, cant be 2 faced out here and you cant go all in if she playing wit multiple decks.
But dat warm body under dat comforter seems nice once the wind blows
If it happens it happens. my point is that ppl make this shit a priority because they dont wanna be running around in the cold.
You touched on so many good aspects its crazy.
I hate the idea of the Winter being "cuffing season" it is a time when all people drop their morals and lower their standards as a means of geting "loving" during the cold season.
I asked one of my guy friends "why? Why pick up some random girl you find attractive to lay up with all winter to decide in the spring you want to find out what she is actually about?" His response was "...who the hell wants to go out in the Winter?"
I think it goes back to the idea of what you value being physically happy or mentaly happy. I've found myself plenty of times being wrapped in the idea of "its cold! I need a guy to lay with and be that warmth" but found out the hard way that the guy I am cuddling with has the brain power of a peanut.
And as for social networks...HA!
I call it "42nd street in 2003" (if your from the city you may understand.
Its one big joke! And posting your personal life relationship is a big joke.
And those couples who add each to be "followed" or "friends" are dooming themsevles to failure.
^ exactly.
Been there done that with the social networking thing :-/. I obviously know too many females, even though I dont sleep with any of them.
This was definitely on point when it gets cold everyone tryna snag a boo and be tryna snug up with jump offs or who ever is available which causes issues....but Twitter, FB and Myspace are definitely a problem when it comes to keeping ya ish on the low, people take everything you say too seriously I have gotten phone calls and text about status updates. I am like are you serious but some people like drama I think, I should be able to say whatever I want on any social network if I chose but I try to leave my business that I don't want out there in my head
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