Ya'll may have seen this one floating around the internet. I found this extremely interesting. I gave my thoughts elsewhere and decided to compile them here:
- Honestly, to be fair, you can't knock them for having standards. If you step your game up, its only natural for you to want someone on your level. I personally think women look to be upgraded by the men they date. My problem is when they expect things of their mate that they don't even have themselves. Like I date women and some of the preferences they have for men don't even make sense to me.
- Its like you're @ the point where if you can find a woman who can cook, clean, be smart and is educated you'd better wife her asap. Some women have been brainwashed to have ridiculous standards for their mates. Cool. But if you don't even have your shit right, WHY should I downgrade? Its like someone telling you to fix a car and they don't understand the mechanical system.I've gone on dates with women and asked them what they look for in a man then I ask what they bring to the table...the same generic script that their actions show they don't even live by. I do think that money shouldn't change you..but be real..if you got 50 mil, your standards in a mate would immediately shoot up. IMO, a relationship is balanced when a man knows how to be a man. We think in terms of survival and wanting to be the best at what we do. At least we should. Women IMO think in terms of security. When a woman can find a man that will be a real man, they'll stick with him. Another problem is that women sometimes waste their youth messing with no good men. When I date a woman and she starts talking about dating a thug or someone who sells weed, its a turnoff. Number one, that's a low level hustle and I beieve in going all out. Number 2, I don't wanna deal with no baggage or some hot head down the block trying to kill me over some box .
- When we're on the comeup, women recognize it and are really attracted to it. They know that an ambitious hard working man will eventually come up. It is what it is. Women will give men more play of potential than vice versa. Men we look for loyalty, trust and if a chick has our back. I trained myself to find a hardworking female...but my main issue is that I want the credit for my hard work. I've seen it with some of my friends that they'd come up and their girl wasn't supportive at all till they hit big. And honestly, when you're working hard, you want companionship of the opposite sex who can understand that your time is valuable. I talked about my commitment issues but that's something I pointed out. When you want companionship and you're hustling, sometimes you want it at your convenience. If you're upfront about it. No harm, no foul. We're all adults here.
- Another issue is that professionalism doesn't define you as a person IMO. Your job/degrees don't make you all of who you are. They are assets and things that you possess...credentials..but end of the day, some of the smartest people do the ugliest things to humanity. Either you're a man/woman first, or you're not. No way around it. As a college graduate, I can say that its something to be proud of no doubt..but it doesn't define me. I define myself by who I am, what has shaped me, my strengths/weaknesses and my belief system. I think as Black folks, we put a high value on education. Definitely no problem with that...but at the same time, social skills are needed to interact with people and to relate to them on a human level. I don't give a damn how many degrees a woman will have if she's a snobby, arrogant person. And mark my words, a lotta the women ya'll think are tough and hard to talk to....a lotta these women just wanna be understood and meet a guy who can talk bout a wide range of subjects. They may make a lot a year, but ya'll lying to yourselves if you don't think they want a dude in their beds @ night. I also don't think women see money like how we males do.
- Dating, especially in a city like NYC, is a ridiculous numbers game. The days of settling with the first person you meet are done. Remember, your dating options are limited to what YOU will go out and pursue. That's my attitude. Call it not settling. Its a big world. Then again, women are faced with the double standard of sexual experiences. If a dude goes overseas, 9/10 he's gonna look for some box and doesn't need to feel a type of way. If a chick goes overseas, and gets some pipe, she may initially feel guilty or say some shit like "a lady never tells" or some shit like that.
- At some point it goes beyond the blame game and into personal accountability.
Edit: also wanted to add that not every woman is wife material nor man husband material, regardless of social class, education level, etc. :-)
8 comments:
I notice, when a woman makes 80k a year she looks to settle down. When a man makes 80k a year he's tryna fuck every thing that hollas @ him. If a well to do woman wants a prestigious man she has to find him before he finds his success. Our stock raises simultaneously with our accomplishments. And once that prime is reached, we become a target for a multitude of women.
LOL.....
Men..we dont have a biological clock or social pressure to "settle down". I do agree that men get defined by their accomplishments for the most part and he may now have access to women he didnt have. At that point, it may be taster's choice (no pun intended). Nothing wrong with it and I dont knock it if he's upfront about everything.
I do think too many women bug out about their relationship statuses. Not every women is wife material and that's works for men too. People are too quick to define themselves by their relationships or lack thereof.
This was an excellent blog. Interesting read.
Why thank you! thanks for reading1
Another thing this video failed to address is weight issues in the Black community.....
Enjoyed reading your entry
DC
my whole attitude about women is along the lines of yours. to me a woman who makes more, has more degrees, or more levels of success they do tend to want a man on a higher level. yet at the same time a man doesn't require that of them. let's be real. women have stopped doing the things we traditionally looked for them to do..the cooking, cleaning, etc. yet, they want us to be bigger & better than ever.
i'm with being equally yoked. unless you can see eye to eye on most things (income isn't really that important but sometimes a factor) it's just not gonna work. you can have a 100k dude with a chick who wants to be a housewife as long as she's doing what he needs & expects and vice versa. but when you have a woman who wants a man with tons of money. and he doesn't have it. and you don't see the world the same: political stances, religion, children,etc.. it just won't work.
women are more picky these days. nothing wrong with being selective, but if you're gonna be a choosy lover don't complain about not being able to find someone because that's the reason. be patient, they'll eventually sort through the trash & find what they want. but it's not on ever block like the liquor store.
True Story man.
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