"The Conflict"

"Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it and live the phrase 'Sky's the limit'......"-The Notorious B.I.G.

I've been in a battle ya'll. A conflict that's been fuckin' with me for a minute now. It got real to me the other day. Almost like a mental panic attack. I'll just vent here.

I'm at a point where I feel like the talent is separating itself from the pack and that people arent' recognizing that. One of the first things I ever learned in the business came from my man/former boss Mitch Dudley @ Sony Red. I didn't like a certain artist's music but had to do an online marketing/consumer awareness campaign. I kept it funky with Mitch and was like "Yo...this kid is WACK man...no one's gonna fuck with this." You know what Mitch told me? (in few words) "You're not gonna like all these artists, but we still gotta push them. It's a job". That shit always stood out to me. Always. Here I am, outta college,working/grinding out for my own company, and that convo comes to mind.

I've always been the type to do things MY way. I guess that's why I'm so calculating and deliberate. I'm the type to do things after heavy thinking about the actions/reactions. This is a character flaw, but I tend to only listen to people who are doing better than me or who know more than me (and admittedly, I'm actively trying to get a lesson from ANYBODY, whether they're doing better than me or not...but it's an uphill battle lol). This also touches on a specific Taurus trait: stubbornness. I put all that aside because a.) ego is always deceptive and 2.) I dont know everything.

I love working with legit talent. When you believe in an artist's talent, the ideas just come in the blink of an eye. I had a meeting a while back and I'm sitting there like "This shit is WACK! It aint gonna sell!". Ideas pitched back and forth and I'm like "Do you all not see the climate for this type of artist? Not only is he not original, but look at his competition as well!". It's like no market research was done prior to this meeting, nothing stood out to me as to why me as a consumer would want to buy a record from this cat (never mind that it's just my personal opinion)...Not only that,but I'm thinking about my name here as well. Not to be on some shit, but I know too many people and in this business, all it takes is one blunder (or lame artist for you to be associated with) for you to have your name smeared. Even little shit like rarely drinking when I go out or eye contact. It's a state of perpetual motion. You have to be mentally prepared.

This is probably "subconscious-post college-nervousness" talking. I'm a firm believer that options can and will make or break you in any aspect of life. Professionally, I've learned nothing lasts forever and that you should have a plan C to back up A&B. I crave stability, BUT as an entrepreneur, there's always that constant bumrush. I like the adrenaline and it's sharpened my thinking/rational skills. I'm used to having a "side hustle" (poor choice of words as it's bigger than anything else I've got going on right now). I did this shit in my sleep through college. school,work and internship. I aint sweating that. It's not always about money as much as it is personal values. I'm 23. Lord willing, the money will come. You know your values when you don't have money more than you do. Someone's (i think it was Jigga) said that money doesn't change you, it just brings the real you out even more.

This will play itself out.