My Duality

Team USA's playing Angola in 36 minutes and i wanna see what the hype is about. I'm absolutely tired from the gym and other stuff that's been going on. yet i woke up early after "the late night convo" lol...yes already it's about 8:24. 6 hours of sleep sucks.

Anyway, i was thinking about this...i guess it came to me in my sleep...i'm a creature of duality..actually been thinking about it since the Jill Scott concert last night, where she said something that struck a chord in me...she was talkin about all the men who tend to not trust woman..and how we gotta remember the lady in church who always prayed for us, the one who kept us safe from bullies and finally, the one who carried us for 9 months......if i could just piece it all together...

Karsten-the smart 8 year old who was reading The NY Times and encyclopedias for fun.the kid who was deemed special since he was left-handed. the kid who was his father's son (to the T). thought my dad could do no wrong. who was always too smart for his own good like when he asked a teacher in his Christian school "Did Jesus have a penis?".the kid who, no matter the answer, ALWAYS questioned why things are the way they are. the under the radar type. the social misfit in High School who stuck to himself. the kid with a mesmerizing knack for oratory.the kid with ALL the talent in the world, who just needed a mentor and direction to piece it all together. who wrote poetry for females he was interested in. the kid who wanted a quality girl for himself because he saw that women could hold it down for the men AND without a man if that was the case. who read his Bible and prayed that God would mold him into the man He wanted him to be. who found hurt whenever he lied to his mother. highly confident, but not "in your face". a quiet, lead by example type. a trusted personality. charismatic and magnetic with a unique talent for having people at ease and able to open up to him. workaholic. the kid who older women adored because of his intellect, old soul ways and nicely formed teeth (genetics..thanks mom). wouldnt exactly be the first choice for females on a looks basis, but knew that the mind can verbalize words to make any woman swoon. loyal and devoted to friends. the kid who idolized Malcolm X for dying for his principles, Jay-z for his business acumen, Nat Turner for his efforts to stand against slavery, and MLK for his mastery over oratory. the "proud to be Black" type. the class clown. the bookworm who stayed to himself while his little brother got all the girls. always up to something, usually mischievous but with no malicious intent. college student. president of his own marketing company. ambitious. great cook. ability to make females blush with his poetry, laugh with his humor or spark conversations with his tongue in cheek sarcasm. the man who learned how to appreciate a woman not just for her body, but for being the best woman she can be. knows the power of eye contact with females. extremely conversational with th ability to make people the center of attention. dreams of a wife and beautiful kids. a ability to get what he wants, just not always in his timing.HATES the spotlight and prefers to work alone and under the radar. uncanny ability to gain trust from people.the determined man who realizes that what Rudy said is true: "You dont have to be an aggressive businessman and drive people out of your life."I pray I'm forgiven for every decision i made, every sista I've played cuz I'm still paranoid to this day"-Jay-z...your mother's dream son in law

then you have what my boys like to call "100K" (not even my rhymin' alter ego...this incarnation is a trip)

"I'm the type of nigga your father oppose"-Jay-z. "I'd rather beat my dick than trick/and if she dont suck, then we dont fuck"-Notorious B.I.G..oppurtunistic, and not in a good sense of the word.has a fear of having a daughter..the know it all who didnt like someone else's method, unless they could show him how it was better than his in any way,shape or form. not really a () hound, but deems it HIGHLY important in male/female relationships, to the point of it being a breaking point. aggressive and brash, and can talk shit to and with the best of them. the prototypical Brooklyn swagger mixed with Machiavellian intents to form the world as he sees fit. take no prisoners attitude. the rule for anything is: "Get with it or get lost". very uncouth. misogynist who cant trust women because he's seen some of the best looking sistas with STDs or triflin' ways, not to mention his own mother saying that "Black men aint shit" (in few words, unlike her usual style lol). defensive about misogyny. stubborn. rude. abrasive without fear. the one who once said "They call me an asshole;I call it insurance". the kid who's SCARED of absorbing his father's flaws into his psyche...yet gets scared when pops said i look/act EXACTLY how he did at my age. brooding and cynical. conniving with a Flatbush ice grill. the man child who looks at life in black/white. eager to cut "lame" people out of his life, he's determined not to be a meal ticket for anyone. the "You thinking life, i'm thinking more like what's up tonight" type. wont intentionally walk over a woman's heart, but gets antsy if sex isnt involved at a certain point of the relationship. lives with regrets about decisions he's made concerning females, but justifies it with a "Next > ex" mentality. a total cynic. brutally honest with no tact. ACCURATE ability to remember conversations and bring them up to make a point. driven by fear of not trying anything at least once, the younger version of 100K once pulled out his penis on a group of girls in middle school. young, dumb and full of cum. always calculating, conniving, scheming. can look you in the eye and tell you the truth, with a signature dash of arrogance and bass in his voice to make you feel like shit. doesnt fall too far from the "typical Jamaican man" stereotype. would leave a female in a heartbeat. a true grimy nigga who knows what he does is wrong but does it for the hell of it. defensive as hell. determined not to become a statistic. enjoys alcohol as much as the average 22 year old. can do the foulest of things with a smirk on his face....
"I'm the type of nigga your father oppose"-Jay-z.

I am what i am. no more no less. work in progress!!!!

Song of the Day:"Brotha"-Angie Stone



Team USA is NICE. Lebron just did a ILL pass to Bosh...