Two Part Blog: What I DON'T Like In A Woman

Wow.

Thanks for all the positive feedback I got my the first part to this entry. This one is gonna be a bit more touchy and sensitive. We're all adults so put your pampers away and dont cry.We're gonna get to my personal dislikes. This is all my opinion. If you dont like it, too bad. :-)

I have standards. There are just certain things that I dont budge on and that are near, if not, total dealbreakers to me. I'm a person of extremes and I'm usually understanding, but there's just certain things that are totally unattractive to me.....

Before you all think I'm coming down on females, you gotta understand where I'm coming from. In my 7 year dating experience, I've seen a LOT of wild shit and avoided situations that could've been BAD. I've learned the art of playing "armchair psychologist" and get to understand why some of the females that i meet think the way they do. I like understanding people and how they tick. I like having the ability to bring things out of people that are considered sensitive. I just like to read and analyze people for sport.

All it makes me is cautious and selective of who I date and "such". My family (ie female relatives) and just common sense formulate a lot of why I think the way I do in relation to the opposite sex. Not only that, but as stated before, I have a great group of women in my life (shoutouts to the Madrinas; you know who you are) who give me their honest opinions on women I meet and date. It may not be what I want to hear at the particular time, but there's no one to take advice about women from than another woman.

So, here goes. If you get offended, too bad.

• Insecurity/Male attention deficit disorder/Lying is the top turnoff: I'm not talking insecurity about body type. I can make jokes out of anything and just divert attention or work out or shoot hoops or something. I'm talking insecurity about my female friends. Between Stas and my "sister"(both of whom are very attractive women), I've dealt with a myriad of questions from females I date about them.  All fair, I asked questions too and if you dont ask anything, you wont get an answer to anything, but those two females are gonna be in my life as long as I'm alive and I wont be subjected to anyone I date feeling any type of way about it for three specific reasons (if not more). (1.) Those women were in the picture before girl of interest (GOI) was and will be there after GOI leaves.(2.) They prolly see right through GOI's usually stankin' ass and tip me off to hoe tendencies GOI has that I, being a male, may not really have the insight to see. Females and males communicate on two different levels and females know other females all too well so two heads are definitely better than one. (3.) They're human and prone to error, but I actually trust their intentions wholeheartedly. I'm extremely guarded, especially emotionally (a lotta reasons).....One thing I have seen is that these females who complain usually have a MILLION "guy friends" (Immediate red flag: some of these cats I dont even get introduced to which is an immediate red flag. It's like they come out of thin air on some Nightcrawler shit. I'm even more suspicious if GOI doesnt introduce me to her female friends.) and one common thread that I notice in retrospect was that they usually had some male attention deficit issue. I actually had a few interesting "experiences" with some of the few females that I've dated and all I can really say is that "No one can tell me shit". I'm not an insecure person because I tend to trust people as far as I can throw them and I've trained myself to go with my gut. "Guy friends" are gonna be what they are. I'm not a simp type of dude who has to console some chick's fragile ego by being at her beck and call and leaving a billion and one comments on her online profiles; however, a lotta cats aint built like that and they assume that's the only way to get in with a female. Sadly, a lotta females have no template of male leadership so they dont know how to deal with males and assume any guy giving them attention is worth their time. If I have female friends, I can honestly say that i dont have any feelings for her or she's just a cool person to be around. Things like insecurity are a HUGE turnoff, ESPECIALLY if said female is unaware of the fact that damn near all of her "guy friends" would tear her back out if given the chance. If you're gonna be an attention whore, at least be a smart one and know how the game goes. I can honestly say that every girl I dated with more male friends than female friends or who acted funny about my female friends have had some funnystyle shit come out after the fact that I found out. It's like one of those "I KNEW SHE WAS SUSPECT!!!" moments happen (I wont air them out) and you laugh about it.....I've been on the other end where a female friend's BF thought I was hittin it or something so I know how it goes, but I'm the upfront type. If there were any intentions, they would have been exposed a long time ago. I respect the game and people's relationships, so I know when/where to draw lines....Do unto others...
• Fake "good girls". "Too many bitches wanna be ladies, so if you a ho, I'ma call you a ho/Too many bitches is shady.": Double standard aside, I believe in honesty. Dont blame me. I didnt make the shit up and I aint on the recieving end of it, so I could care less :-p..but as stated before, it's a double edged sword. But if you're gonna be a smut, dont act like you're a nun. I ALWAYS find out some shit; either a Freudian slip or a confession or something. I always remember things as well and I like seeing if consistency is there.You dont have even have to be sloppy, you can be well-kept and still do you. People are creatures of habit. There are little idiosyncracies in personality that will betray themselves. Like any other man, I've probably dated/have dated girls with questionable pasts. I just wish those girls were upfront with me. With social networking sites, it gets REALLY interesting. But all in all, I'm an understanding person. As stated above, it's usually some male attention deficit that drives them to have done some of the things they've done. Cool. But dont go quoting Scripture when you've had/currently are having more penis in you than Hollywood's most active pornstar. There's always some detail left out ie "I kissed a guy=I blew him...I went home with him=He tore my back out".....I cant stand a religious smut. Just can't. One minute, they're talking about Psalms and the next minute they're in every dude at the club's face. Get.The.Fuck.Outta.Here.
• The "I'm a model/singer...I don't go out a lot....groupie denial syndrome...coast on my good looks" routine: It's funny to me. I get hit with those so much, it's ridiculous. I'm not cosigning no one who aint legit because I look like a idiot who doesnt know what he's talking about AND (1.) That's the LAST thing I wanna hear. I actually know professional models  and singers and it's not just a title or something you wanna throw around. It's not as glamorous as one would think, especially for females. It takes a lot of discipline and practice at those respective crafts and (2.)I'm in marketing. It's a helluva hustle. I know when I'm being hustled, I just dont say anything. I just want to relate to a female on a personal level, not what she does or aspires to do. I'd rather her just say "I'm a student" if she's in school or something like that. I was a student for 4.5 years. I know how it goes...The "I dont go out a lot" routine is funny to me. Im cutting back on my going out as much as winter approaches, but it's like I'd go to different lounges and see the same girls. So i'd approach and that was a common line I'd hear. I'm like "It's NYC, big city...shoot i'm here, you're here, what's up!".....there's no need to play the nun role. If you like going out, you like going out. It is what it is.....and finally, the infamous "groupie denial" syndrome. I spoke a while back about how groupies say stupid things like: "Oh, he's just a close friend of mine and we kick it." Who are you all kidding!! At least say "I've had sex with (insert rapper) and he gives me cash, bags ,etc if that's what it is...and if you're fuckin a rapper and not getting shit out of it, your hustle game is terrible or maybe he's just that cerebral and knows what type of woman you are.Sometimes you go to events, and some of the women in there won't give you the time of day unless you're a rapper or "look" like one, which is perfectly fine by me, but it's the funniest thing to see in person. I was at the Afterparty for the Hip Hop Honors and these chickenheads were in there like "Flava Flav is coming!!!" with their chests all perked out,etc. *extremely long blank stare*
• Terrible hygiene: Sensitive topic. I dont care. I once told a girl to douche before. I have nothing to lose. I have good hygiene and I get checkups. There's no reason a female should not be going to her gynecologist regularly and taking care of her "everyday" needs. Ignorance of sexual health is a HUGE turn off to me and a definite deal breaker. I'm not gonna be a victim of someone's negligence...and I actually stopped talking to a girl I was dating because she didnt want to come to the doctor with me. Loathsome wretch. I could actually go IN on this topic...but I wont for obvious reasons. 
• "Selectively Independent" Syndrome: I an officially on record as saying that I dislike self-proclaimed" independent women. I come from a family that has real independent women and they dont make it a point to broadcast it to the world. Beside, actions speak louder than words and I believe in consistency. Dont talk about how independent you are and then expect me to pay for dinner after YOU invite me out. At least invite me over for a home cooked meal. I'll provide good convo. It's a recession. We aint always gonna have $ to go out and we both got bills and shit. If I like a female or if it's a first date, I have no problem paying for a date. But same token, I've been victim of the "SI". It goes something like she invites me out, I meet her, we have dinner/drinks/convo and then the check comes. There's a look around and a silence so thick you can cut through it. Usually a "phone call" or "bathroom break" is taken on their part. W/e happens from there happens. I'm a man of principle. If I invite a girl out to dinner, I'll pick up the tab. If she tells me before hand of a circumstance, I can also understand and will usually pick up the tab for the next date or for drinks or something after the date. Is it that bad to expect some consistency from people who claim "independence"?
• Finally, the "victim" mentality: I'm a resilient person. Very stubborn and bullheaded. When I'm in my zone, you cannot fuck with me at all. I'm either gonna go hard for something or I'm not gonna mess with it at all. No middle ground. No one is perfect. Life throws blows we might not be able to handle by ourselves. I've dated females with issues. I have issues. Cool. However, I know that those issues dont define me. It's a constant struggle....and you wish you were "normal"...but God/life doesnt throw things that can't be handled. I've always thought that life is what you make it. You can be a victor or a victim. I'm understanding and pretty open minded about people's experiences...but when someone constantly blames a behavioral pattern on their past, I tend to question their maturity because i know sooner or later, they're gonna blame something on me AND it's usually a conscious choice for them to act a certain way.. I'm a lawyer when I want to be anyway and I like a good debate, but it's like why waste oxygen on something YOU need to deal with. It's like Katt Williams said: "You got to be the shit to you. Stop waiting on a nigga to verify you....We tired of ya'll gettin wth us and blaming us for shit we aint even in control of....How the fuck could i fuck up about how you feel about you?"

If the shoe fits, it aint my problem. I still love ya'll. Just calling it like I see. I know what my flaws are so...

But you know what they say...if you're the common denominator. I'll be aight.