The Inner Circle

"All I need is the love of my crew/The whole industry can hate me, I thug my way through"-Jay-z

I have a tendency to be standoffish. It's a huge character flaw. I've always been. To know me's to love me (until I get really upset, because I tend not to get angry over a lot of things, but when I do, it's an extreme rage). People can say I'm a good friend because I'm honest and objective and will give my unadulterated POV. 

Simply put, it takes a lot for me to make "friends". I dont easily trust people and honestly, in business mode, I'd rather them just tell me their motive than for them to show me "love". It just comes off as fake. I've always been wary of people who're too friendly for no reason, especially when I dont know them from a can of paint. Granted, that may be their personality type though....In "personal" mode, I have a tendency to just keep people at arm's length till I can "read" them. Sometimes, I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. Put it like this, I like building relationships with people and I think that's best achieved by people being honest with their intentions. I pay attention to body language....

• looking left in a conversation usually means the person is lying
• Crossed arms signify a "barrier" ie the person isnt open to converse (ya'll didnt think I was gonna put conversate, did you?) with another person.

I LOVE reading people. I love watching how they think and what makes them tick. It's a VERY bad habit, but ever since I was younger, I always used to push things to the limit and see how people react to it. Like one time, I was bored after school so I went to the highest floor of the school and threw milk out the window. Why? For the hell of it and to see how people would get mad. As a young man, I have a sarcastic nonchalant demeanor. Between those two traits, I either get that 

• I take everything as a joke OR
• I dont care about things enough.

So....all in all, I'm glad to have an inner circle of people who can put up with me this long enough. The first shift in my social circle came when I was in college. The second major shift was probably when I was in my junior-senior years. The shift I'm feeling is now. I just feel like I'm on the verge of something BIG. I'm a firm believer in not saving people. If they're meant to be in your life, they will be. If not, too bad.

My inner circle is probably about 10 or so individuals. I trust them wholeheartedly and I know that come what may, I can come to them for any advice or objective opinions I might need. This weekend, I went through HUGE personal battles and I spoke with an old friend who knew me quite well and told her one of those problems. She gave me her objective opinion of me and I was shocked. I havent heard the truth about myself in a while. I'm not really used to people telling me how they feel about me because they either figure I have connections they can use or I can do something for them, etc. It hurt but I rather someone telling me the truth out of love so I know what to work on. Also, I'm one of those people who likes to see things "in my own image". I guess it's the stubborn Taurus in me. My inner circle can tell me the flaws in my POV and I can respect that.

If you wanna get anywhere in life, get you some real friends...and keep the ones that you already have in your life. Ya'll aint always gonna agree and that's the beauty of it. Steel sharpens steel.